The Euphoria of Haruhi and Kyon
by Col98
Summary: There are too many sad stories here, so now I welcome you all into a story that simply explores the lighter side of life from the point of view of our favored Kyon. Experience the euphoria of being with Haruhi... and Death Notes and Aya Hirano.
1. Here I Go!

Author's Note: (l 3)----- I am so relaxed right now.

Anyhow I just felt like making a fic about Kyon and Haruhi placed in random situations as a couple, yep, we all want to read fics about them as a couple but are kinda slowed down with heavy plotting and such that's why I decided to make this and it is done in the same random, funny way that Melancholy was made. 'xept for the randomness of the episode sequence of course.

* * *

The  
_E U P H O R I A_  
of  
**H a r u h i and K y o n**

* * *

_As my life goes by I've realized that some things are not meant to be understood easily. I realized, that every once in a while you have to take a leap of faith at something and just hope that it works. Humans have always been amazed by everything around them, but, some have been more amazed at things which they see not with their eyes. We are always curious at anything and everything, whether it be proven real or not. People say that those who believe in things that they do not see with their own eyes are foolish, when in truth those who merely believe in what is in front of them are the foolish ones, for they never truly explore the possibilities in the world around us. This is my belief. No this is our belief... ok maybe just hers._

* * *

'Oh, Ohayou Kyon!' an old friend of mine, Taniguchi waved at me as I opened the back door to our classroom. 

'Yo.' I said as I closed the door behind me. I walked over to him and Kunikida, another old friend of mine. These two are close friends of mine but I think that they're closer towards each other, I never see them separated for some reason.

As I made my way to my seat which was at the second chair of the columns near the windows, I heard Taniguchi talking about his lasciviousness. He was talking about how he was ranking the girls at our class with Kunikida and some other guys gathered around the room.

As I sat down I noticed something. 'Hey Taniguchi, Haruhi arrived yet?' I asked.

A clear smirk crossed his face. 'Is somebody worried about his little princes?'

'You could have just said no, you know. You don't have to be such an ass about it.' I rolled my eyes and stared out the window.

'Hey Kyon don't be such a--' I heard him trying to explain something but his voice was canceled with the loud sound coming from the door opening behind him.

'Ohaa!!' Haruhi was being her usual self this early in the morning as she kicked the door open sending shocks through the classroom inhabitants. They all looked at her weirdly of course, I wouldn't blame them because she **is** acting weird. But then again she always acts like that. She came walking towards me with large strides.

'Hey good morn--'

She flashed a piece of paper so closely to my face that I nearly fell back from my chair. 'What's this?' I took the sheet of paper and began I scanned through it. I saw the profile of a young girl with descent features. It looked like a complete biography of a person and I was wondering what Haruhi was doing with something like this.

'That girl claims that she has a stalker following her around or something. But I think that there's more to it. You see... I have a feeling that this girl could be...' She stopped to build up the suspense. '...extra-ordinary.'

Oooookay... 'Ooookay...' I said out. 'Where do we come into this?'

'The police from her hometown have recommended that she go to a secure location as the heat dies down in her own town. Namely their police contacted **our** police and so, she's coming here tomorrow with our police providing her escort and protection.'

Escort and protection are the same thing. I rolled my eyes.

'But if the police provide her protection on her stay here we won't be able to get to know about her "situation" right?' She winked at me. Oh crap, I know where this is going. 'So! The moment she arrives at the airport we're going to kidnap her!' I knew it.

'Wait!' I stood up and placed my hands on her shoulders. 'So are you telling me that we're going to go and "kidnap" a girl who's traumatized because of a stalker?

'Yep.'

'Even though we're not 100 sure that she'll even talk to us about her situation?'

'Yep.'

'Oookay, what if she gets even more traumatized by her sudden kidnapping and she goes insane or something? What if she reports us to the police and we all get arrested with a case of kidnapping?'

'That's a risk we'll just have to take.'

'Ok then, answer this last question. Are we **really** going to do this despite the heavy possibility of the things I just mentioned before?'

'Yep.'

'Why?'

'Because we can.'

I was watching her for some time now, some people call me lucky for having her as a girlfriend but not every moment with her is so... pleasurable. Back then when we were just friends I only ended up being forced to do things I didn't want to do without being allowed to say a single word. But now that we're a couple, I **am** allowed to give my say but most of the time she just pretends to listen and continues on with the unwanted activity anyway. I find my life to be so **colorful.**

* * *

Haruhi and I spent our lunch break in the club room where, strangely Nagato wasn't found. 

Anyhow, I was eating some ice cream, holding it with my right hand as I browsed around our website's inbox for e-mails. It was really hot and that's why I'm eating ice cream without the fear of it falling to the computer, destroying the computer and most possibly electrocuting me. But what wasn't helping with the heat was that Haruhi had her arms around my neck as we were reading the e-mails we were all getting. I was sweating like a pig and yet she was too distracted with the various mail we were getting.

As we scanned through the files together I realized that most of the files were fanmail while once in a while we would encounter a "mysterious lead" to something "mysterious". 'So, is anything catching your eye that can possibly get us out of going to that thing that we're supposed to be doing?'

'Most of these things are fake.' she concluded. Damnit she wasn't listening to me again!

'You can clearly see by the way that they're being written that they're just here to attract attention to us, even though these things have no real relevance.' She began explaining.

'Well Haruhi, not everyone is a--' I was licking thin air. I looked at my right and and the only thing that was left was a fraction of the ice cream cone on my hand. Some cream was oozing out of the top and I quickly raced to lick the cold liquid. And then it was all gone.

'Next time call me if something **really** comes up Kyon.' she said as she removed her arms around me to walk around the room in her usual manner. And after a while I noticed her wiping her mouth of the ice cream that she just stole from me. She then said after wiping her face, 'Next time buy some other flavor, Vanilla is too... ordinary.'

My eye was twitching.

She obviously noticed this and she came running to me with that disturbing let's-kiss-and-be-friends-again-smile. She quickly ran behind me and hugged me again with her arms. This time it chocked the life out of me and I was so close to shouting "please stop!". But then again I'm being hugged by a cute girl so yeah, I guess I'll just stick through the pain.

'Aw... is Kyon angry? Well don't be!!' she quickly bit my ear, not with her lips but with her teeth. I screamed aloud with pain, **what is up with her ear biting!?!**

Then I heard a surprised shout from a girl standing just inside the open door. It was Asahina, the general mascot of the club whose soul purpose is to attract an audience because of, her, how did Haruhi address it again... because of her "turning people on". She was at the door with Koizumi with her hand over her mouth and her face blushed.

'Sh-Should we come later?' she asked timidly as she started to slowly back away.

'Looks like the two of you bare busy being...' Koizumi put a hand over his mouth and grinned jokingly. '...cutesy.' He was laughing inside, I knew the guy long enough that he'd probably be laughing at me and Haruhi right--

'ASAHINA!!' Haruhi quickly interrupted my narration as she ran to Asahina. 'Quick take off your clothes I want to show you something!!'

A gave a sigh and motioned to the door as the helpless Asahina was being forced to do things against her will again. I gave Koizumi a quick punch on the shoulder by the way. Just before we closed the door I saw Nagato's empty seat again. The door closed behind me.

'Looks like you and Haruhi are enjoying each other's attention right?' Koizumi said to me but I just ignored it I guess.

'Hey did you notice that Nagato is absent?' I asked him.

He raised an eyebrow and said, 'Oh really? I didn't.'

'You should have. She's never absent. Ever.'

Koizumi rubbed his chin. 'Could this be Haruhi's subconscious' doing?'

'She could just be sick you know. You don't have to always think of those things.' I said seriously, well, because that was the only realistic explanation I could think of. But what if it was caused by... nah, she's probably just sick.

The door opened and Haruhi immediately pulled me in through the collar. Koizumi followed and the both of us were a little shocked to find Asahina wearing a different outfit than normal. She was wearing a black and white French maid outfit, as opposed to the normal maid outfits. But this one was a little bit more seductive than her usual clothing and I found myself starring at her for a quite a while.

'See what do you think? I don't think "cute" appeals to everyone so I went for "sexy".' Somebody was boasting but I guess I was too distracted with Asahina. I saw some fingers moving left and right in front of my face and after a while I snapped off my so called "trance".

'You're allowed to stare!' she pointed at Koizumi but she then raised an eyebrow at me. 'But **you're** not.'

'My, my is jealousy setting in?' I said in a mild manner.

'Of course! Now...' she peered out of the room and immediately seconds, later she closed and locked the door. Shoving me and Koizumi to our seats she announced. 'This meeting is now in session!'

'What about Nagato?' I raised.

'I haven't given this information to anyone yet except for Kyon, but that's because he's obliged to know and we share a lot but whatever--' she began dictating like the dictator that she is, and as usual once she begins dictating, everyone in the room is merely an object to ignore. And so without Nagato we began, oh I mean, she began scheming.

* * *

The next day, Friday the 13th. It was judgment day for us, or it was judgment day for the sorry girl we were about to kidnap, think whatever you want, see it from your point of view. Today was the day we were all going to go after our said target and needless to say, I was probably the only guy who's nervous. 

I was also lucky enough to get the pleasure of walking with Haruhi to school that day. I decided to go to school earlier than usual today because I had to research on something and I got the pleasure of meeting her just as she was entering the school gate. I greeted her a good morning and she greeted back.

As we were walking I realized that, wow, this is the first time we've ever looked like a couple walking to school. I laughed a bit and she looked up at me and asked what was wrong. I said that nothing was wrong and we continued on as normal. It was a long walk from here to the building as to where our classroom was though. So my mind was kinda wondering a bit.

I looked behind me and I saw another couple, I noticed they were holding hands. I saw another couple sitting on a bench under a tree, they were also holding hands. I was thinking, how can these people do this so publicly and this early in the morning? Is this supposed to be natural? And then I thought, should **I **do the same thing? I looked down and I saw her left hand dangling freely as she walked casually.

I considered my options though and then I considered how she'd react. And finally I considered what would we get from this? Would we just feel awkward, would we feel closer or, knowing me and Haruhi, would we just feel stupid. Soon enough I realized that I'm done with being shy and around her, taking chances with her is my specialty by the way. Yes, I am talking about that time when I kissed her for the first time. Oh well, I guess I should just go for it then.

I raised my right hand and I moved it forward to take hers. But right before I could take her hand she comes running forward, nearly making me trip over myself. She ran to Koizumi who was smiling at us from the distance. I looked at my hand and shrugged.

'Oh good morning Kyon. Haruhi.' He said.

'Yo.' I walked over to him.

'Hey Koizumi did you do what I asked you to do?' Haruhi asked expectantly.

'Hai.' he took out a sheet of paper and finally provided us with an even more detailed fact sheet about our victim... oh I mean our target. Haruhi and I both read aloud her name.

Aya Hirano.

* * *

The  
_E U P H O R I A_  
of  
**H a r u h i and K y o n**

* * *

Author's Note: Not to shabby for a first chapter eh? Anyhoo I'll probably be posting the next chapters by next week. I am sooo tired. Well, no I'm not but whatever. Btw, this isn't completely edited yet so sorry for teh typos and stuff. I'll find some editing time soon. Ok? Ok. 

Click me...v


	2. Three, Two, One, Hai! Dut Dut Dut

Author's Note: Sorry for the short first chapter, I kinda used it just as a preview-test thing. The story really kicks in right about... now.

* * *

The  
_E U P H O R I A_  
of  
**H a r u h i and K y o n  
**

* * *

_I always loved books and deep down inside I felt that they loved me back to a certain degree. I live in a colorful circle of friends and I am part of one of the most, famous, no infamous clubs or organizations in the school. The SOS Brigade. My true purposes are classified information but I have shared what I should not have shared to a man named Kyon. The SOS Brigade is composed of a special group of people who are in search of the mysterious things that happen in this world of ours. But among its members Kyon is the only one who is trully... normal._

* * *

I was, at usual at the club room early that morning, sitting upon a chair near the window. My eyes were starring down the black note book known as a Death Note. Behind me was a grotesque black creature known as a Shinigami. He claims this note as his and yet he says I am free to do what I wish with it. But using this notebook that causes deaths to innocent people comes with a heavy price. 

There were rules and I read them very slowly to consider my options.

**The human whose name is written in this note shall die.**

**This note will not take effect unless the writer has the subject's face in their mind when writing his/her name. Therefore, people sharing the same name will not be affected.**

**If the cause of death is written within 40 seconds of writing the subject's name, it will happen.**

**If the cause of death is not specified, the subject will simply die of a heart attack.**

**After writing the cause of death, the details of the death should be written in the next 6 minutes and 40 seconds (400 seconds).**

But I wasn't the type of person to hate and to kill. I was just reading it and I was scanning through the names written on the note before I got my hands on it. I was reading the last person on the note. Ryuuzaki...

'Get off my head!!'

I looked over at the door and I saw Kyon, our normal member, having walked in with Haruhi, our eccentric leader, riding his shoulders. They were a couple I knew it was natural for them to act this way but, this was taking it a little **too** far. I closed the book that I was reading and I placed it in the bag behind me.

I thought of greeting them but then I'd realized that they'll probably be too busy with whatever it is that they were doing that they probably won't even hear me. But this is the least of my problems, my main concern now is, I should find a way to dispose of the Death Note without having condemned myself into eternal damnation.

* * *

As she leaped off my shoulders I could still feel the warmth of her... when ever did I become a pervert? She completely ignored Nagato as she just went ahead to just look for whatever she needed to look for. 

'Morning.' I said to Nagato as I stood up. I never really expected for a reply though.

'Morning.' She said back.

I was standing there speechless, things like these happen all too rarely. Maybe I should try starting a conversation with her, and maybe I can have her open up like the way I made Haruhi open up. 'Why were you absent yesterday?'

She was silent for a moment and then she said. 'Business.'

Good, now I just have to keep this up and she'll be talking to me more casually. 'What kind of business?'

'Personal.'

'Do you want to talk about--'

'No.'

I wasn't getting anywhere so I guess I should stop. 'Kyon, let's go!' Haruhi said as she grabbed my arm as we raced out of the room. On my run with her back to our classroom I considered that there might be something going on with Nagato.

* * *

I was surprised that afternoon when I came to the clubroom and realized that Koizumi has just brought in a brand new Nintendo Wii. He looked at me and smiled. 'I was getting tired of us always playing board games so I decided to buy a Wii.' 

Where did he get the money to buy this? I mean he's rich and all but having him suddenly bring along a brand new Wii is something I have to consider out of the ordinary. Then I was in even more shock. 'Where'd you get the money to buy **that!!?**'

He patted the top of the 26" high definition flat TV. 'I got it as a Christmas gift from one of my relatives.' Christmas isn't here until a few more months! And what kind of family does he belong to if they can give him a gift like **this.**

'Do you want to play?' He asked as he showed me a Wii-mote. I took the strange looking motion-sensitive remote and looked at it with an eyebrow raised.

Several minutes into playing Wii-sports I was actually feeling tired as we both played Wii-tennis or whatever it was called. At the end of the game, which I lost by the way, the game "guesses" your age based on your performance. Koizumi comes in at a healthy 24 and now it was my turn to see how old I was. Though I lost I could say so myself that I performed well under the circumstances that I was playing against such an athletic guy like him.

Your age is...

I leaned closer to in anxiety.

...80 years old.

As I lowered the Wii-mote I saw Koizumi do a quick grin at me. Well at least he wasn't laughing out loud. My mood lightened and then became worst again when Haruhi entered the room with an aura of bad air around her. It was obvious that she was ticked at something and I didn't want to stay and find out, but I figured that even if I left it would still reach me because of our so-called "intimacy".

She sat down on her usual chair with a huff of warm air. 'What's wrong?' I asked.

'It's Hirano.' She smacked her fist against the table. 'Apparently her flight got canceled so we can't go ahead with this afternoon's operation.' And it was a good thing too because we didn't even do any planning. Hopefully she didn't expect us to just run in, beat up her body guards and just take her out forcefully like the gang of bandits that we could very well be.

'How long was it canceled anyway?' I asked again, doubting that Koizumi and Nagato would ask themselves.

'Until tomorrow.' She looked outside with her eyebrows arched.

'So what? We can all just wait for tomorrow to come.' I said.

'Yeah I guess so. But I was soooo excited for this.' She then planted her face on the computer table. But then she raised her head asking, 'Where's Asahina?'

I just noticed that just now as well. 'You're right.' We looked at each other. 'I dunno.'

'Oh well since she's not around I guess we should all just go home. Everyone is dismissed.' She announced to all of us. Why is she letting us go only when she realized that Asahina isn't here with us? She was probably planning on doing something to her. Yeah, that's probably it.

'Ok, if that's the case then I'm going then.' Koizumi left the room smiling. Nobody's jealous of you, you know.

'I'm going too then.' Haruhi took her shoulder bag with her and she walked out of the room. I quickly grabbed her hand and she looked down at me with a questioned look.

'Since we're not doing anything this afternoon, do you want to watch a movie or something?'

* * *

So here I am staring down my nearly-empty wallet, hating myself for not considering my current allowance. But nonetheless I still asked her out so I should still _take_ her out. Otherwise she's going to get angry for waiting there for so long only to be told that I don't have enough cash and that we'd both have to go home. I might even receive divine punishment if I ever do that. 

'Mother I'm going now!' I shouted as I prepared to leave out the front door. She shouted back with an "ok" but just as I was about to leave I felt my sister clinging on to my arm.

'I want to go out too!' She was whining. 'I'm bored take me with you!' She's gotten taller and older now but she still acts the same. Sigh...

'You can't, I'm going out with Haruhi and--'

'Waah! I won't interrupt I'll just stay behind you guys and watch.'

'That's rude. And you'll just be a burden.' I tried to convince her but like any girl I get associated with, she doesn't listen.

'Puweese!!?'

'No.' I rolled my eyes as I tried to walk out .

She then came chillingly close to my ear as she said. 'Buy me a stuffed toy right after your date.' Her tone was drastically serious. 'Otherwise I'll tell mother that you have a girlfriend.'

I thought for a moment and then I said. 'Neh, I don't mind her knowing.' She then let go of me and I walked out casually. I chuckled a bit, I doubt that she'd really tell.

* * *

Haruhi and I met at the usual meeting spot. I waved at her as I crossed the street and she waved back while jumping up and down. It was obvious that she was excited and as was I. 'How long have you been waiting?' 

'Oh, I just arrived don't worry 'bout it.' She smiled as she patted my shoulder heavily. Of course it was a courtesy to tell to your date that you haven't been waiting for too long but judging by that "light pat on the shoulder" I thought otherwise.

'O-kay! Screw that let's go.' She ushered and I followed. As always. She took my hand and we began walking. 'Hey Kyon...'

'Yes?'

'Lighten up will you.'

What? 'What?'

'You have this weird vibe going around you lately. You've been acting a tad too serious lately, it's almost cute but it's more of funny and sad.' She was laughing. Only a person and Haruhi can describe something as "funny" and "sad" at the same time. But I guess she's right, over the past days I've been acting negatively most probably because of... I don't even know.

Maybe I should go and act normally. Just for now while I'm with Haruhi. I tightened my grip on her hand and said. 'Fine, I'll "lighten up" just for you.' I smiled down at her.

'Man that was soooo cheesy!' She was laughing her heart out so hard that she was almost crying. Her eyes and her cheeks were red and we were beginning to attract attention. I placed my palm on my face as she did mocking circles around me.

'Anyway...' She wiped the tears off her eyes with the sleeve of my jacket. 'Where are you going to take me first then?'

'Well I was planning on taking you to the movies but because of the scene you made we're going to have to go shopping first. I want to change my look so people don't recognize me.' I was half serious and I was half joking.

She agreed with me along with one final laugh and we both went ahead with our date. During our little shopping session she bought a huge variety of items which quite well describe her personality.

1. A White Blouse

2. Three Skirts (Yes three) each of various lengths and styles

3. A bag.

4. A death note. The ones which you buy at coming book stores of course.

5. Three magnifying glasses (Yes three).

6. Later exchanged two of the skirts for a 500 page book about UFOs and other conspiracy theories.

7. An Ouija Board. She had it delivered because it was **huge**.

8. And a magazine entitled, "Japan's Greatest Ghost Stories" or something that sounded like that.

In the end we spent just over 70 of my budget for the afternoon. Now I have to resort to cheap walks in the park or something just to keep her interested. Anyway so far so good though and judging by Haruhi's smile and tight grip I could clearly see that she isn't losing interest.

* * *

So far the afternoon was going pretty well. I'm not going to bother to explain all of the details of the date because everything went so smoothly that almost nothing interesting even happened. There are still a few things worth mentioning though, like that one time when me and Huruhi finally reached the theater to watch a movie. 

I lost so much money because of her uncontrollable shopping for unexplainable items that only one of us could afford entering the theater. She **really** wanted to see the movie though and she said that nothing was going to stop her, as always. But then again I pretty much expected this because the movie was an R-rated horror/detective film.

Her solution, like everything about her was very far fetched though. Since when entering the cinema you pay only for the seats her plan was that we just had to share one seat. Strangely enough the manager allowed her to do as she pleases, who knows why? Maybe because he had a nice day. Maybe he was feeling generous. Or maybe he just wanted the two of us to make a fool of ourselves.

Inside the theater I was treated to the seat. Where did Haruhi sit you ask? She sat on my legs. Yet another first to say the least, especially with her shouting and jumping up and down every time something interesting happens. This got me a little excited, that's normal behavior anyway. Everyone thought that we **were** making a fool of ourselves but I guess that's understandable.

After the movie Haruhi was still her capricious self. I on the other hand felt like my knees were falling apart. While walking through the park Haruhi was still ranting about whatever that movie was about. She was hopping all over the place, yelling and laughing about the movie.

As we walked I saw an empty brown bench under a tree. I fell on it immediately with a heavy thump.

'Kyon?' Haruhi stopped spinning as she saw me collapse. She walked over to me and grinned as she placed her hand on her waist. 'Don't tell me that you're tired already?'

'I'm not. My knees just hurt like hell.' I managed.

She sat down next to me and she sighed heavily. 'I guess we could rest for a while.' She smiled at me. 'Pathetic. Shouldn't the girl be the first one to get tired?'

'Sorry Haruhi but that only happens in cartoons wherein the guy doesn't have to endure being sat on by the girl for 2 straight hours. I can't even feel my feet!' I panicked as I smacked the sides of my legs quickly. Nothing I still didn't feel anything! This isn't good.

I heard a light "patting" sound and I looked to Haruhi. She was patting her legs with one of her hands while looking away. Probably to hide the fact that she's flushing. 'You can lay down if you want. So you can stretch your legs. I mean, if you want.'

Don't play with me? Are you serious? This isn't very Haruhi. I could almost laugh out because of how cute she looked. I turned to my right and I slowly lay my head on her laps. I was able to stretch my legs and that was a relief. The sky was blue and beautiful, above me were very few cherry blossom leaves flying. Was it that time of year already? Or did she somehow inject morphine into me and these are all just hallucinations?

I looked up at Haruhi and I smiled at the fact that she was still looking away. 'You know, eye contact could help improve the atmosphere.'

'Idiot.'

I laughed a bit.

* * *

'He-ey! Are you planning to sleep for the whole afternoon!!?' 

I was dazed as I slowly opened my eyes and to my surprise Haruhi was looking down at me angrily. I checked my watch and it clearly read that I was asleep for just about an hour. The sun was being close to setting as well. 'I'm sorry, I'm probably just tired.'

'Hmph.' She looked away. I wouldn't blame her though, while I was lightly sleeping on her she probably couldn't move or do anything. Lucky me, sucks to be her. 'Oh yeah!' She looked back at me with sparkling eyes and a creepy smiled. 'While you were sleeping there I was thinking about one of the oldest concerns of the Brigade!'

'And what could that be?' I asked.

'I know how we can make more people send us information about anomalous occurrences!!' Inside I was preparing myself for the madness that is about to ensue.

'Does this involve you and Mikuru dressing up in revealing outfits to attract attention? Does this involve random fanservice? Or are you just planning to do some more extortion?' I shifted my eyes.

'No, no. My dear Kyon your assumption is wrong. This idea involves not fanservice towards a male audience nor does this involve extortion...' Why is she talking like that? '...my new concept involves the simplest of ideas. This idea came so obviously as I observed the only two male members of the brigade... I've only just realized that we've been concentrating too much on a male audience... So my idea is that we should try going for the other gender now...'

I began praying.

'Ever heard of Yaoi?'

'**GOOD BYE!!**' I tried to leap from her legs but she quickly pushed me back down. I tried to leave but for some reason she's disabled me. Morphine...

'Don't worry! We can just spread a rumor that you and me broke up because I found you and Koizumi in a--'

'**WHAT CRACK ARE YOU ON!!!?**' Since I couldn't sit up I figured I should just pull Haruhi down. I guess I pulled her way too down though that we were almost kissing. Not that any of us was complaining. 'This idea is the most retarded thing you ever thought of. And trust me some of your ideas are pretty stupid.'

'O RLY?'

'YA RLY.'

'NO WAI!'

'Stop that.' I pulled her lower. 'If you're planning on attracting a female audience just dress us in some costumes, take pictures of us or something, just don't do this. Got it? I don't want to be labeled as **that!!**' I pulled her closer, our noses were touching now. 'Can you hear me?'

Her eyes went from, confusion to submission to kinkiness. 'Ok fine! But there's a catch.'

'Anything.'

'You guys will do anything, without objection.' This is the first time she says this "catch" and yet she was already doing this from the beginning. 'And... you have to take me to meet your parents.' Those were two conditions. But I am in no position to object.

'I guess. Why do you want to meet my parents anyway?' Gee I hope she doesn't run in the house calling them Mom and Dad.

'Nothing, I'm just interested in you.'

Interested in me, my ass. You're probably suspecting me of being an alien, time traveler or an esper or something. I don't know why, it could be because we were so close to each other right now, it could be because of our invisible "bond of trust" or it could be because of the morphine she most likely injected to me but I ended up agreeing to take her to my house at the end of the date.

* * *

'Oh I almost forgot.' I smacked my palm against my forehead as I stopped walking with Haruhi. 

'What is it?'

'Let's stop by the department store.' I pulled her with me and we began to run. I almost forgot that I had to buy my sister a stuffed toy. Later on when we arrived at the chosen toy store I realized that I **don't** have to buy her a toy. What was I thinking? Haruhi's going there anyway, it's not like it'll matter if she tells. And I _allowed_ her to tell remember?

'Oh c'mon now you just suddenly stopped.' Haruhi complained.

'I'm sorry, I just realized something.' I laughed nervously. But apparently she wasn't listening to me. She was far more distracted with the sight of a nearby jewelry store. Wait, she's interested in jewelries? No. It's not possible.

'Hey Kyon let's go window shopping!' She dragged me, as usual to the place she desired.

Inside the jewelry store her eyes were somehow sparkling at the sight of all of these expensive diamonds, golds and silvers. I was watching her and she looked like a kid in a candy store. I walked up to her as she was scanning a shelf. 'I didn't know that you liked jewels and stuff.'

'I don't. I just think that, there might be something... written on these diamonds. You know like on those movies, cryptic messages written on diamond instructing the location of some hidden treasure...' Of course. What was I thinking thinking that she liked flashy jewelry.

'Oooh may I look at this one please!?' She said to the lady as she leaned over the glass. The lady was surprised but she did as she was asked. She gave Haruhi the small silver ring with a diamond atop it. She showed it to me and we were both looking down on it with our eyes squinted.

'Can I see it?' I asked and she handed the ring to me. I observed it a bit, it looked pretty nice but I bet I couldn't afford this. While looking at it I accidentally dropped it to the floor. As it fell Haruhi moved back and leaned against the glass. I bent down, knelt on one knee and picked it up. 'My bad, my bad.'

I was just about to give it back to her when I heard the familiar 'Aaah!' of some guy I know. I looked over and there standing under the arched entrance of the jewelry store was Taniguchi and Kunikida. They were probably walking around when they stumbled over here. 'What's with that weird look on your... face...?'

I then saw that behind them was Koizumi and Mikuru. Were they on a date? Lucky guy. Or were they just following me and Haruhi so that they were sure that she wasn't going to get bored because of the date I planned. Wait, don't these two trust me that I am perfectly capable of entertaining Haruhi on my own?

'Oi, Koizumi, Mikuru. Funny finding you guys here.' Haruhi said with her signature smile.

'Kyo-Kyon-kun...' Mikuru was on the brink of crying. I wonder why.

'Way to go.' Koizumi gave me one of his signature winks. What?

'I feel so happy... for you!' Taniguchi was crying on Kunikida's shoulders. lol

I also noticed that the other people in the shops were paying attention to us. They were all whispering to each other, even people outside who saw us from the glass pane stopped to watch. What was going on?

'What are you people talking about?' I looked at Haruhi and that was when I realized the position that we are in. Judging by Haruhi's facial expression of turning red I guess she's realized it as well. I was kneeling on the floor on one leg, my right hand was raised while holding the ring and Haruhi was standing in front of me.

* * *

The  
_E U P H O R I A_  
of  
**H a r u h i and K y o n  
**

* * *

Sorry for the quick ending but I feared that the chapter was getting too long. 


	3. Aimai SanSenchi Sorya Puni Tte Koto Kai

* * *

Author's Thing that he has to say before making a story: Ok, so I haven't updated this story for a while now mainly because of the following reasons.

- My editor isn't done editing the first few chapters of my book.  
- My animator is distracted and therefore, isn't doing his job yet.  
- My adviser is busy playing wait, failing at FPS games.  
- I just bought Halo 3 - -''

But yeah, I guess I can continue this story. Seeing that I'm quite close to mastering Kyon's narration styles. By the way, when I wrote the first two chapters of this story (and the crackjob that was the deleted third) my understanding of the series were still in its infant stages.

NOW

Seeing that I've rewatched all of the anime's episodes at least thrice, read 75.555555 percent of the light novels and even suffered through the poorly drawn manga, I will finally be able to continue this epic tale of epic epicness. My writing style will now be dynamic sending you into tears, laughter, more tears and finally innuendo. No, I was kidding with the inuendo part. OR AM I!?

(God this is taking long)

Also, the action sequences will be so badass that the letters will literally (get it? literally? har har) turn themselves into bladed weapons and **CUT INTO YOUR SKIN!! **

* * *

The  
_E U P H O R I A_  
of  
**H a r u h i and K y o n****  
**

* * *

'Here we are now, the whole brigade, in the airport. Each of us with a specific task to perform. In a matter of a few minutes our movements will be perfectly synchronized to the second in order to achieve our goal. Our actions will be so well coordinated that this will no longer be considered as organized crime. The target is Aya Hirano. We'll come in, take the girl and get out. We can and we will do this with utmost perfection! Those who fail at their task and end up endangering the operation will receive punishment!' Haruhi stated as she stood before us all on top of a table.

I gave a sigh as I scanned the airport around me. I noted the few people taking glances at Haruhi and almost immediately I felt the pressure around me thicken. What was she thinking making an announcement like that in such a public place?

The plan for the capture seemed rushed to me and I highly doubted that we'll even get through from the first step. Our resources consisted of a map of the airport, cheap walkie-talkies from my childhood that Haruhi confiscated from my room last night, and a white board saying 'Aya Hirano.', ah yes and a few vehicles driven by a cousin of Haruhi.

The white board is probably there to lure her into thinking that we're the Japanese police that is to pick her up at the airport. Of all the people Koizumi and I were supposed to play the role as the cops but I doubt that Hirano is going to believe who we claimed to be. Koizumi and I simply looked too young to be posing as police.

This realization hit me in the face like a brick.

Oh man, we're not at all organized for this.

As the plane was making its final approach I could feel my life flashing before my eyes. I was going to spend the rest of my life behind bars. My sister, mother and father were going to go on living without me. Whatever future I hoped to have with Haruhi wasn't going to happen...

...I can't believe I just said that. My life must really be coming to an end.

What's going to happen to me behind bars? What's going to happen to Haruhi? To Nagato? To Mikuru?

But I doubt that I can do anything about this. If I refuse to do this then boom! Haruhi gets depressed and the world ends. Heck, the only reason on why I'm still here was because of the unexpected events that conspired on the night before. A strange emotional Haruhi asking me if she was going too far and an unexpected break-in into my room... Don't expect me to go through the details of what happened after that.

Koizumi and I stood in our posts while the rest headed to theirs.

'Her Beach Craft B200 is lowering its landing gears...'

Koizumi probably feels really special with that brochure of his.

While we were waiting in the public waiting area Haruhi and the rest were waiting outside with our so called vehicles. Though the plan seemed very badly done and practically had more loopholes than WarCraft's lore Haruhi still insisted that somehow this was going to be possible. She _is_ God after all.

'Look at that yaw, my dog could do better!' Koizumi commented while watching a nearby passenger plane take off.

Since when were you so interested in planes anyway?

Koizumi flickered his hair and said, 'Since recently. I have taken quite the interest in aeronautics because of a close cousin of mine. That cousin of mine has managed to graduate college this year and is now currently working as an aeronautical engineer for Lufthansa.'

'Oh ok, and that cousin of yours inspired you to becoming a pilot?'

He turned his shoulders to me and said with a smile. 'Perhaps. I'm intrigued at the idea of leaving the limits of the earth's surface.'

You're quite the person to be intrigued about defying gravity. As I remember your abilities as an esper enable you to hover like a helicopter.

'Perhaps. But it's a completely different feeling being confined in a flying bathtub wouldn't you agree?'

It was at that moment that I realized that I no longer had any idea what Koizumi was talking about. I decided to instead pay attention to the young beauty making her way down the tarmac. The girl wore a white dress with a straw hat above her head. She looked casual and carefree as the wind blew her long hair in a way that made my breath stop.

'Even from this distance she's ridiculously cute in person isn't she?' Koizumi said as he dug in his pocket.

Her slow walk towards the air plane entrance felt like an eternity. So long in fact that I might even be able to discuss a flashback during this time...

* * *

_Haruhi will you marry me? _

_'Y-Yes Kyon! I-I will marry you!' Haruhi said as she took the ring into her hands and kissed me hardly. We took each other into each other's hands and said with our eyes sparkling, our hair dancing in the wind (even though we were inside an air conditioned building) and roses dancing behind us.  
_

_'I will live a life with you my love! Together we will live a life worth living! A life full of love! A life of luxury and more love! We'll have children and friends to admire our love! Did I mention the love?' _

_And with that Haruhi and I got engaged and wed minutes later. _

Sigh... If only it were that simple. The truth is an instance like that was only possible in soap operas or overrated high school dating sims. The truth is something like that can almost never happen. Especially if you're dealing with people like me and Haruhi.

Here's what really happened...

__

'Kyo-Kyon-kun...' Mikuru said, on the brink of tears. She held her hands together as Koizumi placed his arm across her shoulders.

'Way to go.' Koizumi gave us a chilling wink, a fake smile and shiny thumb.

'I feel so happy... for you!' Taniguchi on the other hand was on a state of emotional collapse. He was frozen on the spot crying his heart out on the shoulder of his quiet companion Kunikida.

In a matter of moments Haruhi and I have been able to gather a small audience around us. Outside and inside the small jewelry store were a crowd of people I did not know. A girl with her arm hooked around her boyfriend's watched silently as she placed her head on his shoulder. A blonde business woman stood with her cellphone as she watched us. And a few others were frozen in their places, expectantly waiting for something to happen.

'What are you people talking about?' Haruhi and I turned to each other in order to analyze the current situation. Our faces turned red almost immediately. Yet another moment of blatant emotional weakness between the both of us. A long cold sigh creeped through my body.

Haruhi looked at me with wide open eyes as they slowly hovered down into the ring in my hand. Come on! Think of a plan! You're the one who got us into this situation in the first place by dropping that ring. Think of a short plan that might get us out of this awkward situation. Make sure that we don't make too much of a commotion.

I have an idea, why don't we just explain to everyone what really happened? That you just happen to drop the ring while I was merely acting out of good nature to pick it up for you. Though it seems like this idea lacks effort I'm quite sure that it's going to work. Wouldn't you agree Haruhi?

Ok, let's do it in three.

One...

Two...

Three..

Haruhi slipped the ring into her finger.

Hold on, that wasn't the plan!

Haruhi held the ring close to her chest with both her hands. At this moment i was thinking if she was being dramatic, I guess she was because at the very last moment she looks at me and gives me an exaggerated wink.

'Huh?'

'I will marry you.' Haruhi nodded off. My jaw dropped through the center of the earth as I stood up.

'Wh-What?'

Haruhi shook her ringed hand into the air at the audience around us. 'Buuuuuut, seeing that you currently have no money with you... oh wait, seeing that I owe you about a million yen I might as well purchase this ring for now.' Haruhi waved her hand casually as she pulled me up with her.

Walking to the counter she placed her hand with the ring in front of the cashier. 'I'll be paying through my mother's credit card is that ok?'

The cashier watched confusedly at Haruhi's reaction as she bowed. 'Y-Yes.'

Haruhi turned around and looked at me in the eye. She smiled from ear to ear as she began laughing beneath her breath. I held my head down low and my shoulders slumped, it was at that day that I lost all of my allowance for the next thirty months.

* * *

Sigh... looking back on all of that I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders again. Not that I haven't experienced this before... being the boyfriend of a girl with the potential of being God can be a real workout anyway. However, I still have no idea on why she decided to act that way.

I considered that it might be her way of acting sweet but I highly doubted that, she is Haruhi after all.

'Here she comes.' Koizumi signaled me with a pat on the shoulder.

'Ok, ok...' I prayed that this wasn't going to be the end of me. I fixed the badge on my left breast and I fixed my collar. I breathed in slowly, taking the cold air into my lungs.

Koizumi placed a hand on my shoulder and said. 'Don't worry, it'll be alright. It's Suzumiya-san anyway. Her plans always manage to work out.' They do often manage to workout but even so why is it that we're the one to be placed in harm's way?

The brown haired artist made her way through the public terminal. I was surprised and relived that nobody was with her. This would make this job a little easier wouldn't you agree?

Aya Hirano began looking around the airport with her beautiful eyes. Nearly everybody around her seemed to immediately recognize who she was. Luckily airports prohibited the use of cameras within its boundaries so not many photos were taken. The only photos which managed to be taken were taken through cell phone cameras.

This could be trouble up ahead though since those pictures can still be used as proof. Say, the moment we ask Aya to come with us a person takes a photo... that could be later linked to her being missing and thus, we become suspected and hunted down.

As she makes her way down the linear path I realized that this was the perfect time to observe her. She carried an aura that felt like a mix of Haruhi's and Mikuru's. Her slender body probably made any male close to her feel like jelly and her pretty face was exactly what you would expect from an idol.

I began to brace myself as she finally stops and sees the both of us. Koizumi held the white sign above his head with a smile. At this moment I didn't exactly know where her real escorts were but I didn't really care. If Haruhi trully wanted this to happen her subconscious Godlike powers would do the task for us. She began waving from the distance with a smile on her face.

She stood before us and I felt my blood pump faster. 'Ohaa!' her smile was magic. 'I would guess that the both of you are my policemen for the day?' she said as she looked at Koizumi from the chest up.

'Yes ma'am.' Koizumi said professionally.

The Japanese idol made her way to staring at me and I nodded off awkwardly. 'Oh... the both of you seem so... young.'

Jacked up! Time to run!

'Ah about that, Kyon-kun and I have graduated rather early from our college days. In terms of intelligence and skill in policemanship (is that even a word?) Kyon-kun and I are far superior to that of a newbie policeman.' Koizumi explained as he lowered the sign. 'However, we _are_ still just novices. Despite our acing of every test that they have thrown at us, this is still our very first mission.'

'Ohhhh...'

I couldn't take the fact that she was believing all of this. Or perhaps she already knows that we're faking it and she's simply preparing to run in a moment's notice.

'Indeed.' Koizumi nodded. 'But we are still very capable of providing intermediate security to our chosen client. We hope that you'll be able to keep your faith in us.' Koizumi looked at me.

'Uhm... yes.' I decided that I should let Koizumi handle all the talking since he's visibly better at it.

'Kay!' Aya smiled cutely as she began walking forward. 'You're a little shy but I guess I can let that pass. Why don't we get going now?'

'I completely agree.' I said as I looked at her luggage. As an act of being a gentleman I picked up her luggage and walked off while following her and Koizumi. Koizumi was in the middle of a healthy conversation with her while I was left with her relatively light luggage.

Still, I could not help but feel concerned by the lack of the real policemen.

We exited the airport terminal followed closely by the eyes of the guards on duty. Aya simply waved and gave casual smiles as we passed under their noses. I breathed a sigh of relief the moment my foot set step on the outside of the airport.

'Oy Koizumi! Kyooon!!' Haruhi was ecstatically jumping up and down in front of our "escape" "vehicle".

You idiot! Why are you jumping like that!? Stop making a scene for yourself!

Other than the fact that she was jumping excitedly like a little kid, Haruhi was also wearing casual clothing, _not_ a policewoman's uniform. This would probably lead into Aya's suspicion rising but I saw no visible signs of this.

'Oh! So you must be Hirano eh?' Haruhi said as she stared closely at her face.

'Uhm... yes?' Aya was taken to be surprised slightly by Haruhi's sudden actions. Sweat trickled down her face as she said, 'And you m-must be Suzumiya-san right?'

Wait, you _know_ each other? How's that possible?

'Hmmm...' Haruhi began walking circles around Hirano while rubbing her chin. As she examines the girl from all sides I noted Aya's increased breathing rate. Eventually though Haruhi stops with her threatening examination and proceeded to the van. 'Let's go then! Get in the van!' Haruhi demanded.

'Hey, hey...' I walked beside her and whispered into her ear. 'Stop freaking her out, can't you see that she's acting nervously around you?'

'Baka!' Haruhi screamed in my face. 'Of course she's acting nervously, she has a stalker coming after her! And strangely, according to the newspapers you resemble the stalker quite closely.' she smirked.

'Uhm, excuse me... we're going to ride in _that?_' our unsuspecting hostage said as she pointed to the van behind us.

'Yep!' Haruhi smacked the side of the vehicle with her palm. 'If we were to take you out on a limo that would be like drawing a big red bullseye on your head right? Driving around in this lame excuse for a vehicle would make you blend into the crowd much, much easier.'

And what kind of crowd are you talking about? The homeless crowd?

The old worn out silver van looked disturbingly out of place in the middle of an airport parking lot. Aya unnervingly enters the vehicle while I take in her luggage. The tight little van only had four seats available and I began to wonder how the six of us were going to fit in.

Hirano-san was seated in the back seat next to Nagato and her luggage. Koizumi was also the driver for some absurd reason. I sat shotgun next to him while Haruhi... seeing that there was no longer any place for her decided to sit on my lap. As she leaned against me I managed to catch the seductive smell of her hair.

Pulling my hands around her waist, Haruhi begins boasting to herself. 'I am so awesome for thinking such a flawless plan like this. Wouldn't you agree Kyon? Worship your beloved leader. Worship me...' she said as she shook her hand in the air.

I then noticed something.

I placed my chin on her left shoulder as I asked, 'Hey, where's Asahina?'

'Eh?' Haruhi tilted her head on mine. 'I don't know what you're talking about?' she hummed. She then squirms around to position herself to whisper in my ear. 'What did you think did Mikuru-chan and I do when we left a while ago?'

I was too preoccupied with my own private apocalypse so I wouldn't know.

'We went looking for the real police officers who were ordered to pick _her_ up. Do you want to hear more?' I don't like where this is going, but yes. 'I substituted Mikuru-chan for Aya Hirano of course!'

'That's not possible!'

'I _made_ it possible.'

Seriously, Asahina-san doesn't even look like her. Sure they have roughly the same height and hair color, but their signature features are far too different from each other. Such as Asahina-san's bust size!'

'Funny that you keep mentioning _that _about Mikuru-chan.' Haruhi raised a brow while she crossed her arms.

That's not the point! There was no way that those police officers took Asahina as Aya's substitute. For all we know, she could be behind bars now! Impersonation is a very serious case rarely taken lightly in Japanese jurisdiction!'

'Kyon, you are wa-y too naive.' Haruhi gestured with her hands dancing in the air. 'Of course they weren't going to take Mikuru-chan as Aya.'

She squeezed my thing as she said, 'I gave her to them as a bribe.'

...I felt a cold chill go down my spine.

Strange and unspeakable images of Asahina-san getting tortured by the wants and needs of the policemen crossed my mind.

_'No! N-Not there please!!'_

_'But she handed you over to us!! Mwahahahahahhahahahaha!! Now jam it in!!'_

_'KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!'_

'That was taking it too far Haruhi! Who knows what kind of unspeakable things they'll do to her!'

'Perv. And don't be silly... Those kind of things only happen in hentai and weird pr0n movies. Just leave everything to me! Alrighty?' and with that kiss Haruhi has silenced my right to speak.

* * *

That afternoon...

'You will be staying in this safe house for the time being Hirano-san.' Haruhi said as she spun around in her house' living room. 'My parents are out for the week so you can stay here while we "investigate" your stalker.'

'Uhm... ok.' the delicate Hirano-san made her way to a seat and sat.

I proceeded to the kitchen to get myself a drink, that past operation (and worrying about Asahina-san's safety) was amazingly stressing. While taking out some cheap root beer I could hear Aya and Haruhi talking.

'He seems to know his way around your house.'

'Of course, he comes here often. 'Guess he just can't stand being away from me for so long.'

Liar. I just happen to know where the refrigerator is since, well, it's a refrigerator, you find it in kitchens.

'Can I have some of that?' Koizumi said as he peered into the refrigerator with a smile.

'Yeah, sure.' I took out a can for him.

'Thanks.' Koizumi, who appeared a bit awkward was about to grab the can when...

'No! No! No! If you want to get in Kyon's pants you have to drink from the same can! Put that back now!' Haruhi said, her hands waving in the air.

'Heh...' Koizumi said weakly as he opened the can. Is it just me, or is this the very first time that he's ever ignored one of Haruhi's orders.

'I... we have a small matter to discuss Kyon-kun.'

* * *

Now normally, if you find yourself standing in the terrace of a person's house you would assume that that person is rich. Well, truth be told Haruhi _is_ quite above the poverty line. Being with her often gives me inferiority syndrome.

As Haruhi interrogated Aya about her stalker case, I met up with Koizumi and Nagato on the terrace.

'What was it that you wanted to talk about?' the root beer as I drank it was like a waterfall in a desert of sand.

'We have a very serious situation Kyon-kun.' Koizumi said as he wiped some sweat off his forehead.

I waited.

'Hirano-san is not from this plane of existence.' Koizumi began and I listened. 'The Aya Hirano that we have just met is not from this world. As you might notice she looks and acts a bit off from the rest of us...' Koizumi took a sip of his cold beer. 'The truth is, she has come from a whole different universe. Please take your time taking this... Simply put, Aya Hirano is a dimensional slider.'

I let my mind take in the information slowly. 'How did she manage to get here?'

'Nagato-san has detected a small dimensional rift located in Switzerland.' Koizumi turned to Nagato who nodded silently.

'S-Switzerland? She came all the way here from **Switzerland!?**' that idea defies gravity.

'However, the rift has extended all the way here in Japan. Think of it as a small dot getting extended into a long cylinder.' Koizumi began rubbing his chin as if thinking. He then said, 'Suzumiya-san had wanted for her to come here.'

'I see... what can we do about this then?'

'At the moment, the only thing we can do is follow Suzumiya-san in her endeavors of hunting down Hirano-san's stalker.'

Ok, I understand, so for the time being the only thing that we should do is wait... and possibly risk our necks for Haruhi again. This seems to be easier than the usual...

'Correct. However there is something else. We _have _discovered who Hirano-san's stalker is.' Koizumi gave way to Nagato who walked towards me. In her small hands she held a small black notebook, written on it were the English words "Death Note".

'Please place your hand on the surface.' her toneless voice complemented the word "Death".

I hesitated...

'This will allow you visual of the target.'

My hand was shaking slightly as I slowly placed it on top of the notebook. I closed my eyes and waited for a paradigm of colors but it never came. I couldn't help but feel a bit relieved.

'The stalker is standing behind you now. Please prepare yourself.' Nagato said slowly.

I prepared myself as I turned around to meet the face of Aya Hirano's stalker. I expected the ghost of a dead, balding man who smelled like the blood of a thousand slaughtered pigs but instead...

'Yooooooooooooooo!!'

...I was met with a small girl dressed in black, on her back was a long sword. Her hair, was flowing down, reaching up to the back of her knees. She introduced herself to be...

'KONATA IZUMI HERE!!'

**To be Continued...**

* * *

The  
_E U P H O R I A_  
of  
**H a r u h i and K y o n**

* * *

Mai r0flc0pt3r gose SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI!!


End file.
